I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
