dude i'm inner monologue high
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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