Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
