Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
