His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
