people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
