just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
