Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
