life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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