apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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