are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
