My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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