You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
