what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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