on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize