How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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