my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
