I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
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So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize