We named our party play list daddy issues
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
