It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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