It's like a parade of train wrecks.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
smell my finger.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
