Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
