I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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