i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
