Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
