walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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