You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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