I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
