saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
