D3 body, D1 cock
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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