Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
