Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
