I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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