There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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