And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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