You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We smell like vodka and hangover
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
