Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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