alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
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Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
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Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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