I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
