I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
