There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
