Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
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You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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