I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
