Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
