she looked like the before picture.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
