i need an iv and a liver transplant
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
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