to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
