STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
