she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
