lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Operation Purity has been aborted
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
