Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
