I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
