direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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