Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Randomize
