I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
