I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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