Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
