She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.