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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I wish i was spraying into your jaw.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?

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• (585): View more from New York

  I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower

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• (716): View more from New York

  BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything

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