so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Randomize
