After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
