Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?