Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  I'd wear matching sweaters with you

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  (424): I'd wear matching sweaters with you http://tfl.nu/xbhf
  Replies (3) Good night (2331) Bad night (1297)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.

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  (609): this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef. http://tfl.nu/eg87
  Replies (12) Good night (1173) Bad night (783)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.

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  (219): Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal. http://tfl.nu/m4sr
  Replies (14) Good night (908) Bad night (5523)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.

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  (440): Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade. http://tfl.nu/kiie
  Replies (20) Good night (5664) Bad night (1511)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.

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  (901): Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods. http://tfl.nu/16un
  Replies (26) Good night (4083) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths

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  (843): woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths http://tfl.nu/oqok
  Replies (23) Good night (1012) Bad night (4275)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.

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  (828): Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy. http://tfl.nu/roru
  Replies (15) Good night (6002) Bad night (1500)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'

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  (512): Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob' http://tfl.nu/rohh
  Replies (17) Good night (1159) Bad night (2422)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.

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  (203): Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka. http://tfl.nu/23cb
  Replies (5) Good night (1868) Bad night (842)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.

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  (419): Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test. http://tfl.nu/jxmi
  Replies (9) Good night (728) Bad night (2302)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.

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  (978): If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again. http://tfl.nu/fk6d
  Replies (13) Good night (879) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?

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  (504): Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh? http://tfl.nu/qv7w
  Replies (4) Good night (466) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  What is your life?

  (315): View more from New York

  A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.

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  (781): What is your life? (315): A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions. http://tfl.nu/196i
  Replies (0) Good night (646) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol

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  (306): so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol http://tfl.nu/scq5
  Replies (1) Good night (377) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.

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  (917): You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude. http://tfl.nu/0uba
  Replies (0) Good night (491) Bad night (323)

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