In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
