my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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