he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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