just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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